So this intriguing (hilarious) piece hit my work inbox about a week ago. While pretending to listen to a tedious client mandated conference call, I let out a chuckle as I briefly read through it. As I returned to it later that day, it made me think…

Am I wasting away my youth as the equivalent of a corporate prostitute? Am I selling my soul to my employer and my clients? And for what?!

A fat salary, work flexibility, frequent flier miles, hotel points, and a substantial amount of “hoes in different area codes?”

Hmmm….Yea, fuck it – I’ll whore myself out for all that. But, I prefer the term Gigolo.

Enjoy…

Are You A Consultant Or Are You A Prostitute?

1.      You work very odd hours.

2.      You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.

3.      You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.

4.      You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room.

5.      You charge by the hour but your time can be extended.

6.      You are not proud of what you do.

7.      Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.

8.      It’s difficult to have a family.

9.      You have no job satisfaction.

10.   If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.

11.   You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.

12.   People ask you, “What do you do?” and you can’t explain it.

13.   Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.

14.   Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.

15.   Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or Jaguars.

16.   You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if the client is foolish enough to pay it’s not your problem.

17.   When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return looking like hell (compare your appearance on Monday AM to Friday PM).

18.   You are rated on your “performance” in an excruciating ordeal.

19.   Even though you might get paid the big bucks, it’s the client who walks away smiling.

20.   The client always thinks your “cut” of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.

21.   When you deduct your “take” from your billing rate, you constantly wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.