Old School
In the not so distant past I can recall attending sorority events and having a marginally good time. Typically, the drinks were too expensive, the inter-couple conversations too forced, and the general Fratmosphere too, well…formal. However, I now realize that these don’t always have to be this way. Here is a letter sent to the President of the Pi Beta Phi Sorority at Ohio University from the Director of the Banquet hall in which they had their formal…
My first thought was – Holy Shit. Of course this has caused a media storm. The Huffington Post and The Smoking Gun were all over this story. I bet Pi Phi Nationals are shitting themselves right now. Sorry, that Chapter just happens to consist of sluts. And this reputation will undoubtedly stay with them for the next couple of years. But, I encourage these ladies to embrace it…don’t make excuses, don’t try to cover it up. Just be like…“Yea, I fucked a guy under a table at my spring formal. So what?” Even if you were the conservative girl in the corner appalled by your sister’s actions, no one is gonna believe your innocence. So make up a sensational story of how you gave the waiter beej in the kitchen while your boyfriend was shitting in the urinal. BAM, you’re a star.
The Fratrepreneur weighs in: Honestly, in my college career I’ve witnessed crazier/raunchier/dirtier happenings, but this is not something you want thrown into the public light. This whole sorority’s reputation is tarnished nationally. These girls can’t put this organization on their resume or publicly admit to being a part of it during this event. Which really sucks, because I’m sure a lot of these girls accomplished many valuable and reputable things while being Pi Phis. Lesson here is: take responsibility quickly, be sincerely apologetic, cover the damages you created, demand privacy, and get this taken care of swiftly and discretely. Go ahead and fuck your date on the sink of that banquet hall men’s room, just be ready to pay for it when it breaks.
